Somewhere along the zig-zag of my working years, the idea of marketing ones’ self to create your personal brand and get ahead in the workplace arose on the business how-to horizon.  Dubbed ‘You, Inc.’ the concept hinged on the entrepreneurial notion that we are a personal business. Remembering the lessons from my almost going-down-in-flames work experience I shunned the idea only to take it up in retirement, not as personal branding, but as a means of taking care of myself.  I turned the idea into one of self-care instead of self-branding.

Culturally raised to put everyone else’s needs before my own, I was never taught that self-care is not selfish. Nobody ever told me how to truly take care of my needs.  My family raised girls to take care of others, to refill their mental, emotional tank, but no lessons on how to refill our tanks.  And, if ever I put myself first maybe even an ounce of guilt thrown in for good measure.  It took a long time for me to internalize the belief that it is not only O.K. to put my own oxygen mask on first, it is entirely necessary for my well-being. 

Below are some ideas for creating your own You, Inc.

Self-care.  Self-care is a habit of valuing yourself…all the time.  Self-care is a daily exercise, not a once in awhile something you do for yourself.  As a caregiver I learned exactly how important making time for me was to my survival.  In 2017, through the Rosalyn Carter Institute for Caregivers in partnership with the Greenville Healthcare System I was assigned a social worker for a year, free of charge, to ensure my mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health received the attention needed to ensure my well-being.   I met weekly with my social worker, Diana to review my week, what I was doing for me and how it was helping or not helping.  There was also a handbook with exercises designed to create an ever widening circle of activities to support my needs.  The intent, of course, was to reduce my stress and anxiety thereby reducing bodily inflammation in order to maintain my physical health, so that I had the reserves to care for Martin.  This is when I created You, Inc. for my self-care.

As I became more involved in the program I began to have an interest in anything and everything promising to support self-care.  Even without my caregiving duties I had always lived such a harried lifestyle never able to keep up with the demands of family, work and community.  With the challenges of caregiving I found myself in the same situation oftentimes operating on auto-pilot.  As I began to focus my energy adding layers of stolen moments for me, intertwining some activities like listening to music to benefit both Martin and me, I made a conscious decision to continue on my journey of self-care well into my future.

Setting Boundaries. The future is now.  I ramped up self-care during 2023.  I decided to take the year off, meaning not inundating myself with commitments. The number one objective is to only do activities that I 100% want to do when I want to do them.  After a decade of caregiving, I needed to refill my empty tank.  I set the boundary and said, “No” without guilt.  If it wasn’t filling my tank mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually, it had to wait until I felt whole again.

Me Time.  I hold commitments to myself as sacred.  I inadvertently made an appointment for a Monday causing me to miss yoga.  That’s when I devised appointment days.  For example, when I make an appointment for my doctors, dentist, car repair or anything else, I routinely schedule Tuesday or Friday.  Those are my appointment days.  While regular health-care checkups fall into the self-care category, so do my yoga practice, weight lifting, reading time, book club meetings and building my next home.  I don’t do early morning or late day appointments.  I’m retired.  Rush hour does not fit with my You, Inc. concept for living.  Early mornings are set aside for journaling, meditating and reading A Year Of Positive Thinking by Cyndie Spiegel and Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditation email (https://cac.org).  Once a week I indulge in home spa treatments like a facial and manicure putting on some meditation music and lighting a scented candle.

Healthy Eating.  As I write this I have Tuscan white bean soup simmering on the stove for supper.  By now, you probably know my self-care includes healthy eating along with exercise.  While I don’t deny myself a piece of pie or cake now and again, the changes I initiated are paying off with my feeling and looking better.  Embedded in my routine is weekly meal planning and grocery shopping.  The planning pays off in more Me Time and no stress about what’s for dinner.

Adopting this You, Inc. approach to self-care is refilling my previously depleted tank.  At one time stressed out of my mind I can once again take a challenge or setback in stride.  For the first time in what seems like infinitude, I’m volunteering some of my Me Time this week to help with fall clean up at the community center gardens.  It feels good to give of my time again and from a newly abundant reservoir.  

Self-care is not selfish.  You, Inc. is not selfish.  It’s how we replenish our inner reserves so we have something to give to others, family, friends and our communities.  If we didn’t take care of ourselves, we may not be around to take care of someone else. 

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