Since I was traveling this week, I’m reposting a previous post from July 2014. I hope you enjoy it a second time around. I’ll be back next week with a fresh post. Until then…
We need purpose in life. That is a given. And, that is one of the challenges we face throughout our lives. Retirement is no different. While you lived your work life, you probably reinvented yourself many times, developing new skills, taking on a new position or switching careers altogether. If you looked for a new job at a new company, you probably threw yourself into job hunting, updating your resume, looking at different companies and opportunities. This may have been a very exciting endeavor giving you a renewed sense of purpose. During this time, you may have also taken on the role of spouse and, then, parent. More transitions, adjustments and challenges as you wended your way through these new roles. Though stressful at times all of these provided purpose in your life.
Now, you have waved goodbye to the regular work life and the kids have flown the nest (hopefully). And, as some of you have written, retirement is not all you dreamed it would be. Setting aside the normal transitioning, disillusionment, grieving the good parts of your old work life, in order to reach a state of renewed purpose, put yourself in the same mode you did when you went after a new position, a promotion, a job with another company. Become open and exploratory. Prepare to reinvent yourself in order to re-purpose your life. The sooner you do this, the sooner you will find satisfaction with your retired life.
A reader recently mentioned how they would love to hear more stories about people successfully transitioning into retirement. So, would I. If you have a story to tell, please pass it on. To get us started, here’s how I found retirement bliss or Atchley’s Stage 5 of a Retirement Routine. It took me about two years. For some it will be shorter; for others, it may be longer.
If you don’t have a bucket list, make one. Though it’s become something of a cliché these days, the bucket list is a very useful tool for getting your dreams down on paper. I have my bucket list and, for those of you who have been with me for a while, you know one of my dreams was to take classes in watercolor painting. I didn’t expect to become world famous or even be all that good as I never thought I had any artistic talent. So, I shouldn’t have been surprised or felt the disappointment I did when the class turned out to be a disaster. But, being the trooper I am, I decided the real problem was not knowing how to draw.
On a whim, I signed up for a drawing class. Then, the little voice in my head started saying things like, “Who are you kidding? You can’t even draw a smiley face so what makes you think you can draw anything at all?” Doubt, that destroyer of dreams, would not get out of my head. I decided to cancel. But, my dear husband, talked me into sticking with it and giving me an out. If, after a couple of classes, I felt the same as I did with watercolor, I would just drop the course.
Well, I never dropped it. Instead, by the fourth class, it was exhilaratingly apparent that not only can I draw, but I am talented. Since then, I have taken two more classes, moving on to pen and ink and colored pencils. I spend hours upon hours drawing. I’ve made new friends. In addition to the art, I enjoy the camaraderie with the other students.
I’m looking forward to more courses this fall with a new instructor and other perspectives. I have not felt this much excitement about a discovery of my personal abilities since I was 16 and took my first journalism course. Learning to draw has changed my life. And, think about it, I almost didn’t even give it a shot. What seems like a masterstroke from the outside, I know was nothing more than the luck of the draw. I tried something that stuck.
If you are carrying around old notions about your likes and dislikes or what you can or can’t do, discard them now. If doubt clouds your thinking, kick doubt to the curb. Henry Ford once said, “Think you can, think you can’t; either way you’ll be right.”
Reinventing yourself, repurposing your life requires an openness to new possibilities. It requires a willingness to try new activities. It requires taking some risk. In order to be a success at anything, you have to be willing to fail. After my perceived failure with watercolor, I didn’t want to fail again with drawing. It was easier to cancel then to face the possibility of another mistake. But, in retirement, all bets are off. Put yourself out there today and find your purpose. And, send me your story.
Reminds me of our back-of-the-class chats ….where we met!
Hi Kathy… I’m new to your blog, so this post was brand new to me and I enjoyed it very much! Everything you said hit home. I am also new to retirement but have a bucket list forming in my mind and looking forward to all my projects and expanding my knowledge of hobbies like crocheting that I have done for years but never had the time to try new patterns… now I do. But I am taking it slow and letting reitrement grow on me. Love the quote from Henery Ford… so true! As always, thank you for this blog. Mary
I have been a runner, racing in local 5 and 10k races for decades. However, close to retirement, I gave masters track and field a try. I now have the blessings of new goals and accomplishments, as well as new friends. Never having participated in track before, I now compete in pentathlon. In fact I won a gold metal last week at the USATF Masters National Outdoor Track and Field Championship in pentathlon and 300 meter hurdles in Grand Rapids, MI. You’re right, if we persevere, we can re-invent ourselves and develop new interests.
Very inspirational Kathy. Wonderful artwork. Thanks for sharing the story. KJ
Am enjoying your blog very much Kathy. It is comforting to read about someone else who has been where I was 5 yrs ago. I am still floundering a bit, but trying a lot of new things looking for a purpose…something I can do inspite of my ongoing health annoyances. Many thanks for sharing. Love your art work! S
Wonderful one to repost! I am definitely following your advice and trying things. Nothing has hit the passion button yet, but I am certainly having fun! Pottery class, writing class, spirituality seminar, cooking class, yoga, Zumba, and now….a 4 week tennis clinic. And a full list of other possibilities. As you point out, it is very hard to sometimes take the first step. Being a beginner is not easy when you’ve come out of work life of being the expert. I hope someday to point to the passion area that pops for my purpose.