Taming The Wolves

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Earlier in the week I attended an event where the guest speaker was a financial markets analyst. His presentation was on, what else, but the economy. While he didn’t tell us anything we couldn’t already read in the news, putting it all together in one place did result in an anxious vibe in the room. The stock and bond markets were flat in 2015. Now the stock market was taking a downward turn. Oil is less than $30 a barrel resulting in gas prices last seen in January 2009. And the oil price decline appears to be influencing global market declines. China has devalued its currency, which affects the global economy. And, we are waiting for the Federal Reserve’s next announcement on monetary policy after raising rates slightly last fall, which may not have been a good move. After delivering all of this unsettling news, he cautioned against allowing anxiety to get the best of us with an emotional sell off of assets in a bid to curtail losses.

Never one to worry too much about falling markets, always one to believe in a buy and hold strategy, I can still sleep at night despite the gloomy market news. My dates with anxiety always hit closer to home. Things like a leaking dishwasher or a mistake on a medical bill are more likely to drive me nuts. While worrying about these things spurs me into action, it has also been known to raise my blood pressure and cause sleepless nights, neither of which is good for my health.

Whether it’s an economic decline or a leaky dishwasher, we all have situations that trigger anxiety. Worry is a survival response. Thousands of years ago, when faced by hungry wolves, anxiety triggered our flight or fight response. If we weren’t worried about the wolves, we were really, really unlikely to survive. Life still isn’t a walk in the park, but we often over think and then over react emotionally to life events.

After dealing with a high stress level at watching buckling hardwood in my water drenched kitchen, I decided to do something about my anxiety. Although I probably always knew this, it took a month of mind spinning over the outcome for me to realize my worst fears almost never come true. Thirty days of worrying as the new dishwasher was installed, the hardwood turned up at the edges and my ever handy husband put weight on the floor to straighten the boards, was enough to give me the screaming me-me’s. I was so sure the hardwood in that section was ruined, we’d have to replace the entire floor and it was going to cost a fortune, not to mention the mess to the house. Instead, the floor dried out nicely. The boards miraculously went back to their original shape, to the point where you can’t even tell we endured this minor disaster.

Fear of the unknown and our mind’s creation of the worst possible outcome all conspire to take us to that anxious dark place called worry. The first thing to do is acknowledge our worry as in, “Yes, I’m worried about this, but I’m going to stay present and not let my imagination take control.”

There are a number of things you can do to stay in the present moment. Mindfulness does work. Making a mental effort to stay aware of your current moment in time, your surroundings, the sights, smells, sounds and even tastes takes your focus off the future, the unknown. Use your senses to remain conscious of the now.

Another strategy I use is to focus on something which requires concentration. This is simply an extension of the idea of mindfulness. I find that writing or drawing does the trick. It’s really hard for me to keep spinning worst case scenarios in my mind if I have to concentrate on shapes and lines in a drawing. You might try reading a book or listening to music or working on one of your hobbies. You might also immerse yourself in your volunteer work. Helping someone in need is a sure way to take your mind off your own worries.

Another step to eliminating worry is finding something physical to engage in like taking a walk or riding a bike. I go outside to my garden where there’s always work to be done. There, I deadhead flowers, pull weeds or clip bushes. It’s hard to worry when you are breathing in fresh air, enjoying the sun shine and keeping your hands and mind busy. Physical labor also helps me sleep better regardless of what’s happening in my life. And, we all need a good night’s rest.

I also try a little meditation. Admittedly, I’m only good for 5 or so minutes, but that’s enough to let the stress into your mind and then release it to clear your mind. Accepting your feelings and thoughts of worry sometimes is all it takes to free yourself of the anxiety. If not, don’t be too hard on yourself. Chastising yourself for worrying is just adding more negativity. Instead of saying, “You shouldn’t worry about this. You’re being silly” say something like, “It’s O.K. to worry now and then.” Let the feelings come in, accept them.
Whether you’re worried about the wolves of the financial markets or the one in your kitchen, taking constructive, specific steps may not completely tame the beast, but will help you survive with a better quality of life. Using my goto phrase of, “It is what it is” often allows me to move on. That phrase is one of acceptance of the situation, which puts me in a frame of mind to just be. I can let it be, let it go, take a breath and move on. With time, the future will take care of itself. And, my worst fears will likely not come to fruition. Whatever happens, it is what it is.

9 comments on “Taming The Wolves

  1. This post was on target. With more free time in retirement, there is more time to worry about things that are out of your control. The one that works for me is one you mentioned, “It is what it is.” I really do try to separate out those things that are out of my control and just let it go and move on to something else. Another technique we share is concentrating on other things. I find that keeping up my blog, “Transitioning To Retirement” helps me focus on a positive activity that requires much concentration. Hope we both continue to get even better at this letting go!

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  2. Good advice. I too use the “It is what it is,” way of accepting things, as well as “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” and “Let go and let God.” It’s amazing how our thoughts have the power to raise or lower anxiety. Thanks for your post.

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  3. Excellent advice! The past 10 days were quite stressful for me. Now that I have come through it, I realized this morning that I should have spent more time practicing the principles of yoga and mindfulness: Just stop, breathe, be present, and let it be. “It is what it is!” So true, and yet sometimes, so difficult to remember.

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